Saturday, February 12, 2011

Pheromones That Hypnotize Quilters

"A recent study has indicated that fabrics give off certain pheromones that hypnotize women and cause them to purchase vast amounts of cloth.
When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the pheromones in the fabrics cause memory loss and induce the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter, such as storing food).
The species is perpetuated and there's no population loss due to their kind being cut up into pieces and mixed with others.
:)
Sound tests have also revealed that these fabrics emit a very high-pitched sound, heard only by a select few, known as quilters. When played backward, the sounds are heard as chants - “Buy me, cut me, sew me!”
In order to overcome the so-called feeding frenzy effect that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility, and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the Earth, helping to spread the effect these fabrics have on the human population. These aliens are called fabric store clerks!
Furthermore, pheromones seem to cause a pathological need to secret the fabric purchases away when one takes them home and blends them into the existing stash. When asked by a significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is “Oh, I've had it for a while!”
Reported in the Western North Carolina Quilters Guild Newsletter in 1997
Written by Kathy Smith Harris

18 comments:

Char said...

Isn't it the truth!

Merete said...

Hehehe - funny, but true ???!?!?! Wishing you a happy weekend, Nedra :o)

Laura said...

Hilarious! Now how do we explain the online fabric purchases?

Mary Grace McNamara said...

It's just one of those 'facts of life' that we all understand :)

MGM

West Michigan Quilter said...

I knew it! I knew it! It wasn't my fault after all. It's all because of those...what did you call it...those thingies! I feel so relieved. LOL

Shannon said...

I read this to my husband. He laughed and said that the "old" fabric is only 20 minutes old but it is old stuff. LOL!!

Nicole MacDonald said...

OMG!! It suddenly all makes sense *gazes at gigantic pile of fabric beside her* maybe I should store it in the garage...

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Cardygirl said...

What a hoot!

karenfae said...

LOL - how funny - I wondered what the feeling was when I see a bundle of fabric and it really appears to be calling out to me "buy me"
Karen
http://karensquilting.com/blog/

Cathy said...

Oh now I see why my sewing room is packed to the rafters with fabric, while trying to look nonchalant like it has been there for ages!!!

Lois Evensen said...

Oh, my. I fear I have a related syndrome. Mine is related to yarn....

Back in my sewing days, I had a sewing room stacked to the ceiling with fabrics, boxes of thread and zippers. Now that I travel for weeks at a time and don't have a sewing machine with me, I have bags and boxes of yarn and a daughter who is my greatest enabler who sends it to me as needed. ;)

LOVE your post!

Hugs,
Lois

Material Mary said...

Makes me laugh Nedra. I do have a sickness for fabric and it has existed since I was a child. I fear there is no hope for me.
Mary

Barb Johnson said...

Too true!

Lisa said...

LOL!!!!!!!!!! so true!!

Sarah Blue said...

Fabulous Sentiment!

Janet said...

How hilarious! I understand now.

eula_w said...

"It's just one of those 'facts of life' that we all understand :)" - agreed in full.

do pheromones work

Kathy said...

This article was written by me: Kathy Smith Harris in 1997
Please correct.